Early in the afternoon on December 8, 2017, the first snow of the season will befall the region. Preparations are already in motion for this storm of underwhelming proportions.
At some point today, the Governor of Virginia is expected to declare a state of emergency in anticipation of the moist slush that might accumulate on the streets. The Virginia National Guard will be on standby to assist citizens during this time of minor inconvenience.
In Henrico County, parents are preparing to make outcries to the county for not canceling school and jeopardizing student safety; however, if the county does cancel school, they are prepared to accuse the county of being too “fearful” to send us to school, and “imagining” danger.
On the flipside, the county is preparing to close school for the week of the 11th-15th to ensure students do not have to endure any moderate discomfort. Further, since exams are only seven weeks away, Henrico has decided to cancel them due to worry that the snow this afternoon will interfere with them.
I wish safety to all and the best of luck in these harrowing times.
Note: This article is satire. The purpose is to entertain, not to inform.