Opinion: Let Me Bring My Dog to School

Lanie Moore

Managing Editor

Here’s the thing: I would like to bring my dog to school.

I’ve gotten so used to having him lay on my feet while I do school at my desk, or lay on my legs while I do school on my bed, or lay in my lap while I do school on the ground, that I really just can’t imagine doing school without him. He has become a necessary school supply for me; his doggie presence is as important as a pencil or pen, though he is somewhat fluffier and harder to write with. Frankly, my workspace will feel incomplete sans dog. I simply do not know if I will be able to concentrate without his sleepy snores in the background.

Thus, for purely academic reasons, I propose that Freeman allow pets when we return to the building. With the plethora of COVID-19 regulations, everything is going to be different anyways–why not just throw our friendly canine companions into the mix? Better yet, why not throw all sorts of pets into the mix? Cats are cool, fish are friendly, gerbils are genial if you give them the chance. A typical class could have rabbits, lizards, frogs, birds. Heck, we could open the door to prickly porcupines, prizewinning ponies, even a spindly spider or two. It’ll be as though everyone has their own therapy pet–so long, school stress; hello, happy homework!

Plus, having so many well-loved pets will actually help us to get rid of some less-loved ones: roaches. Any food bits dropped on the ground will be scarfed up immediately by the nearest hungry doggo, preventing them from attracting those unwanted underlings. Besides, any varmint that dares to show its face will surely become food itself for the nearest cold-blooded, bug-loving beast.

Picture it: happy pets mean happy students, and happy students mean happy teachers. Focus will improve, test scores will improve, GPAs will improve. There simply isn’t a downside to 2,000 dogs, cats, fish, gerbils, rabbits, lizards, frogs, birds, porcupines, ponies, and pet spiders roaming the halls along with their highschool owners. Let’s make it happen, folks: the Maverick Menagerie!

The writer’s sleepy dog, snoozing in his bed.

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